Questions to Ponder on Same-Sex Marriage


The Supreme Court’s decision that legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states has raised a great deal of confusion especially among Christians and other believers.   Many Christians are submitting to the popular belief and trend because they know someone they love who is homosexual or because as Christians they believe that love means to be tolerant of everyone’s “life choices”. 

If you consider yourself a faithful Catholic and a Christian there are several questions you need to answer to be able to consider before we become supportive of and celebrating the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize and impose on our society same-sex marriage.  These questions are meant to challenge us and make us honestly think before we decide what we believe, they are offered in a spirit of charity oriented toward the truth.   Obviously for non-believers these questions may not be helpful, but for us who are disciples of the Lord how ought we to think about this matter, let us consider the following questions:

  1. When did you decide that same-sex marriage was good, something that ought to be allowed and something that we ought to accept?
  1. Had you ever heard of "marriage equality" before the news media and the gay-rights activists started using this idea?    Is it possible that the media, the gay agenda and politicians invent certain "rights" or concepts?
  1. Rights are given by God and belongs to every human person, a part of our dignity (ex. rights to life, freedom of speech, conscience, to worship, private property, or self-defense) these rights along with others are ordered by God and come from him.    Governments and societies have the duty to protect those rights.   Do you think that rights should be defined by elected officials or courts (who follow polls or currents of thought and opinion)?   
  1. Where do we draw the line when it comes to "marriage equality”?   Does this mean that all so-called "marriages" ought to be allowed?   
  1. How about polygamy?   Should more than two people be allowed to marry?   At what point should we limit the number?   On what basis do draw this line? 
  1. What about age discrimination in marriage, should children be allowed to marry?   How young is too young for marriage? 
  1. How about adults who claim to have an attraction to children, should they be allowed marriage?  Many of them claim to be “born that way”, isn’t that possible?  
  1. How about close family members, in-laws, or step siblings, shouldn’t they be allowed to enter into marriage?   If no, why not?
  1. What Bible verse(s) can we use to justify Christians supporting same-sex marriage?
  1. The Bible itself is a story of a marriage between God and Israel (Old Testament) and Jesus Christ and his bride the Church (New Testament).   Marriage is a reflection of the marriage that God has established with his people.   How can same-sex marriage be a reflection of Christ and his Church?
  1. Can you point to verses of Sacred Scripture where sexual activity between two persons of the same sex ought to be something celebrated?
  1. Critics have used Jesus' command to love and not to judge to be interpreted to mean that all activity, even sinful, ought not to be criticized, would the Lord have been accepting of this behavior?
  1. Supporters of same-sex marriage claim that this is "love".   Since when is love to be defined as doing whatever I want so long as I care for the person I am doing it with?
  1. How would you define love?  
  1. What Scripture verses would you use to support your definition?


  1. Supporters of same-sex marriage say that love demands we accept their behavior as their “life choice”.     Doesn’t love demand more?  


  1. Do you believe that it is possible to love someone so much that you can disagree with decisions they make because it could be harmful for them?   Don’t parents understand this well as they object to decisions harmful for their children?
  1. Jesus speaks of adultery or illicit sexual behavior in Mt. 10:11 "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery".   What sins do you think he is forbidding?
  1. If Christianity accepts same-sex marriage then why does the Lord Jesus reiterate the pronouncement of the creation of marriage in Genesis when he repeats; "have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, 'for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh." (Mt. 19:4).   If in answering a question about divorce Jesus asserts the definition of marriage why wouldn’t he mention that a man shall be joined to his husband or a woman be joined to her wife in addition to the heterosexual marriage he mentions?  
  1. Is Jesus a bigot?  Is he discriminating unfairly?  
  1. Romans 1:24-28, St. Paul speaks of those who are condemned for their "mutual degradation of their bodies” because their "females exchanged natural relations for unnatural and their males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another.   Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity."    What did St. Paul condemn when he spoke of "males did shameful things with other males"?  
  1. 1 Corinthians 9, St. Paul says that those who are "fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, boy prostitutes, sodomites" would not inherit the kingdom of God.   Who are the "sodomites"?  Who is Revelations 21:8 referring to when speaking of the punishment of eternal death.
  2. Genesis 18-19 describes the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.   The evil that was committed was the men of Sodom both young and old who demanded of Lot that they bring out the men who came to his house so that they could "have sexual relations with them." (Gen. 19:5ff)   Lot even offers the men young virgin women instead but they refused.    Where do you think the word "sodomy" comes from?  
  1. There are those who claim that the Bible does not condemn same-sex marriage or homosexual activity, do you think that politicians, activists, or news pundits have a better understanding of the Bible than famous intellectual giants such as St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas or the Protestant Reformers like Martin Luther or Calvin, or even the majority of theologians and biblical scholars for over 2000 years?
  1. Those who oppose same-sex marriage are often called “bigots”; many are persecuted for their deeply held religious convictions.   Often those who passionately support same-sex marriage were once avid opponents, do you think they "evolved" away from bigotry because they honestly believe or for political expedience, simply to get elected to office?
  1. Raising children is best done by a loving mother and a loving father.    Do you think children raised in a same-sex marriage are raised in the same loving and healthy environment?    Do you have credible data that supports such a claim?
  1. Considering Christians throughout Latin America, Africa and Asia, are they "backward" and non-enlightened because they have not accepted gay marriage?    Do we think of ourselves as more true to the Bible or more enlightened than them?
  1. Isn't marriage much more than a person's sexual attraction and desire?
  1. What is the purpose of marriage?   What is the purpose of human sexuality? Isn't marriage and sex oriented toward the procreation of children?   How can this happen in a same-sex marriage?
  1. Should Christians and indeed others who hold that same-sex marriage is an immoral act now have to change their views simply because the Supreme Court says so?
  1. On March 6, 1857 the United States Supreme Court issued a decision in the famous case Dred Scott v. John F. Sanford in which the court decided by a margin of 7-2 that African descendants whether slave or free were NOT citizens of the United States according to the constitution.    In 1896 the case Plessy v. Ferguson upheld segregation between Blacks and Whites as constitutional.    Do you think all Supreme Court cases are inerrant (without error)?  
  1. Why would we trust government or the courts on a decision like this?
  1. Would you defend other Christians when they lose their jobs, be fined for not baking a cake for a gay wedding, have their reputation destroyed, or have their freedoms threatened because they insist on living according to their beliefs?
  1. Don’t Christians and other believers have the freedom of conscience and freely object to participate, cooperate or support immoral behavior?
  1. Do you honestly believe that same-sex marriage is so private that it will not affect you and your family?  
  1. Are you prepared to respond to questions your children or grandchildren have about gay marriage and homosexual activity since it is now acceptable and likely taught as an "alternative lifestyle" on television, cartoons, movies, textbooks, and in the classroom?
  1. Is it sinful for homosexuals to engage in sex outside of marriage (pre-marital or extra marital sex)?
  1. So now that the Episcopalian Church has "voted" to accept gay marriage, can they now vote other sins to no longer be sins?    Will anyone take them seriously when they speak out against other immoral behavior, since they have lost any kind of credibility?
  1. If you now support gay marriage and didn't before, what else are you willing to change?   Does your faith not provide a moral compass for you?
  1. If same-sex marriage is not supported by the Bible and you believe that it is wrong to oppose same-sex marriage, then what use is the Bible to you anymore if you can discard its message?


These questions were adapted from a publication by Kevin DeYoung, The Gospel Coalition, Inc: 2015.   Found on his website  July 8, 2015.  

Other questions are written and edited by Fr. Rodolfo D. Vásquez.   

Online Giving

Online Giving

Secure and Convenient Donate now!